Prayer needed badly

So, I'm back in Nor Cal until Sunday when I drive back to La Mirada. At least that is the plan.

Unfortunately, the only new thing here is that Dan's drain output has increased massively. For those who like numbers: the past few days have been in the 300s (bad) and today will end up close to 500ml (terrible). As Dan is still not eating, it is difficult to know what is causing this increase. Though the doctor thought that pulling on the drains would decrease the output, it seems to have done the opposite. Our concern is that the pulling of the drains has opened the hole in the anastomosis more or has caused damage to the tissues. Honestly, we do not have any idea what is going on.

We emailed the doctor and haven't heard anything yet. It is frightening for us as another surgery may be necessary to fix the anastomosis. While this has always been a small possibility (and still is), it is the possibility that scares us the most. Dan's body isn't as strong as it was for the last surgery, so another one to fix the last would be difficult.

Also, my schooling would be in jeopardy. I've been given a deadline of March 1st to be settled into school without missing days. Up until today we figured that was possible since the surgeon wanted to get Dan home early next week. Now, we really don't know. Obviously, I wouldn't want to go to school while Dan's being operated on. Yet, I do not want to have to choose between graduating from nursing school and being with my husband.

We really do know that God is in control of this entire situation. He knows when Dan's drains will dry up, when he'll come home with me, when he'll eat again, when his next surgery will be, whether or not I graduate and when/if Dan will be cancer-free. It's just becoming difficult to pray and pray and pray (and know others are interceding for Dan) and see very little progress and even worsening. It is so difficult to force our hearts to hope and to force our minds to be still.

Honestly, we are running out of reserves. Dan hasn't eaten for a month (except for 2 days of food trials) and the TPN just isn't keeping his hunger away. He hasn't been home in 2 months now. I haven't been home for more than 3 days at a time and am getting worn down from frequent flying. Trying to wrestle between wife-nurse and student-nurse is getting harder--I even forgot to turn in an assignment (if you know me, this is huge). The constant barage of set-backs has made joy and hope infrequent emotions. We were so excited about Dan coming home next week, and now, that seems nearly impossible.

I've heard that God does not give us more than we can handle. He already knows our breaking points, and apparently, He is pushing us to them. I'm about ready to crack.

Please be in prayer with us now. We're so tired. We need to taste victory. Soon.

Prayer Requests:
* Decrease in the drain output immediately
* Healing of the anastomoses
* Continued healing of the wound
* Wisdom for the surgeons
* Dan's ability to come home to La Mirada
* Endurance and comfort for Dan
* Safe drive for me on Sunday (I haven't driven by myself since sophomore year)
* Progress in the right direction
* My ability to graduate with my class on May 29, 2010
* Hope