The NG tube stuck up my nose
The fact that I am stuck to the wall when the NG suction is on
Sometimes my NG tube gets stuck because of all the mucus
The fact that I am stuck in the hospital, with little progress
ESPN is stuck on March Madness right now
My bowels are stuck
I am really not a fan of this time. Not counting follow-up appointments, I have spent 41 days in a hospital this year, or 52.6%. And still, I wait. With a tube up my nose.
Granted, there is so much to be thankful for. I have made a lot of progress on other areas physically, but it's so easily masked by another setback that puts me in the hospital and not even able to eat the little cups of jello and drink the plain chicken broth. At least I get ice.
Before Ashley and I got a private room, I was in a shared room, and had 3 different roommates. The first was a guy with no legs who got transferred to a different floor and was later discharged. The second was a younger post-op who went home like the next day. Both complained about the food (because it is popular to complain about airplane and hospital food--I will never complain about either ever again). At least I have legs, right? My third roommate was an old Indian chap who was able to eat, but slowly. His wife and family were extremely nice and I felt really bad that I had to transfer out while rooming with him, for fear of seeming like we didn't like them. Whenever I walk by my old room, if I see them, I wave, and they wave back like I was part of their family too. They remind me of my Indian neighbors back at Biola. How I wish to see them again and eat their yummy chicken.
But really, I'm not obsessed with food. I think. The point is, 52.6% is too much. 41 days is too much. I'm done. I want to get on with my life and be normal again. I haven't taken a regular shower since January. I want to eat a home-cooked meal by my wife and gain weight and muscle mass back. I want to be at home for more than 2 weeks at a time and be with my friends and church family. And hopefully, I will soon. I'm hopeful that this will pass (and praying for it to not be surgically-induced). I'm praying that this will be the last complication, even for the upcoming second surgery in June. I've been on this ride too long, and it's time to get off. But wouldn't you know it, I'm stuck. Which is why I need God's help getting out. May He have mercy on my body.
with you Dan.
ReplyDelete