Oops!

I somehow forgot to mention....Dan graduated!
It was a hot morning but full of celebration and excitement.
We had a party at the apartment (lots of food) and enjoyed our families and friends.
Dan has a BA in Film with an emphasis in Screenwriting. However, he will pursuing his teaching credential next year at UC Irvine...in math! By June 2010, I will be a nurse and he will be a teacher and we will be outta here!
Thanks for your prayers and support.
Without Christ, I'm quite sure this day may not have happened.

Flags

Every Memorial Day in the past many years, our family has awoken early to hang the flags for the Avenue of Flags in Santa Rosa. Everywhere you look in the Santa Rosa Memorial Park are flags of every size. The usually green cemetery is a visual wonderland of waving red, white and blue. Each flag had a name written very small on the seam...the name of a person whose coffin had borne the flag. Each flag carried a story and beckoned us to remember.

Along with our family, we were joined by Boy Scouts and veterans and military families. Before the sun was high, the flags were flying proudly as veterans told us short stories of their times in service or scolding a young boy for not knowing how to respect the flag. It was always a time to remember the fallen and celebrate those who placed our freedom above their comforts. Later, we would return for the actual celebration and Memorial Day service. Veterans now appeared in their uniforms or wore their service ribbons on hats. From the national anthem to Taps, this was a sacred and important time. Every person present knew that they were in the midst of heroes, though the heroes would never ever accept that title.

Thanks to marriage and a home address in Southern California, I couldn't go hang flags this year. Yet, I was not raised to see Memorial Day as a day for BBQs and good sales. So, at the encouragement of an older friend and veteran of the Korean War, Dan and I went to the local cemetery for their annual service. The flags were not as prolific here, but the veterans were. The color guard was full of WWII veterans, one of which accidentally forgot what "about-face" meant. The service truly honored those who have fallen and offered prayers for the Blue Star families in La Mirada. In a moment of near silence, 3 Gold Star mothers stood. I didn't know them, and I never knew their sons, but I know that they died for my freedom. A Colonel spoke on the hope of today's generation. Amazingly, he sees much hope for the health of our country in the hands of today's youth. Whereas many see America as a land full of malcontented politicians and liberal anti-war protesters and children who do not know the meaning of the flag being at half-mast, I saw a different America today.

America still has its patriots and heroes. If soldiers did not die on the shores of Normandy or the deserts of Kuwait, it is quite plausible that anti-war protesters would not have the ability to protest peacefully. Everyday, a family is burdened with opening the door to two servicemen reporting their regrets. I have faith that the America I live in will not forget those families.

As Dan and I drove home, the notes of Taps still ringing in my mind, I counted the flags hanging outside of homes. In two miles, I counted 3--on Memorial Day. Though saddened, I know this can change. Veterans have the responsibility to pass down their memories and their traditions. We have a responsibility to carry on their memories and traditions. God-willing, Dan and I will raise our children to know about the wars and the flag and how their freedom came to be. They will honor their grandfather for his Air Force service and their great-grandfather for his Army service. As terrified as I might be, I might see one of my children serve his country with pride.

Until then, I can only remember the flags and the veterans and the tears that prove this country still has hope.

Almost Finished

I am taking a break from cleaning the apartment to write an important service announcement:

IT IS SUMMER, AND DAN AND ASHLEY HAVE NO HOMEWORK FOR 2 MONTHS.

Ah, it feels good to say that. Dan is at graduation practice at the moment, while I'm stuck cleaning the mess we allowed to accumulate during finals week. Oh, and I'm also waiting to let the bug guy in to spray our pipes again.
Do we have ants? No. Spiders? Some. Cockroaches? Oh yes.

A couple weeks ago, a bunch of nursing girls came over to watch Pearl Harbor. Monique went to the bathroom, closed the door and I realized I had forgotten to warn everyone about the huge bugs. Oops. As I'm warning everyone else, shrieking and squealing comes from the bathroom. The door flies open and Monique's got her hands over her head, waving at the air. A cockroach had jumped from the ceiling on to her head. Good grief. I'm surprised she still comes to the apartment!
So, Dan and I are finding a few a day in the bathroom. Yesterday, I found one under the kitchen table upside down, playing with some lint. Fabulous. I hate bugs. Dan has gotten incredible at killing them. He's contemplating catching a couple in a jar and letting the duel.
Hopefully, the bug guy will get here before my parents do. Mom had a cockroach land in her hair last time she was here. Oy.

In other news, we are so excited to be done with school for the year. Nursing school piled on the work this semester, so this feeling of relief is extraordinary. As the weeks have passed, I've complained to Dan about how much I'd like to graduate now instead of next year. Yet, last night, I went to Pinning (nursing graduation) and was shocked at how sad some of the graduates were. Slowly, it settled into my heart that graduation means saying goodbye to some of your closest friends. The thought of not seeing these incredible men and women from my nursing class every day is nearly unthinkable. I am thrilled to be a nurse, but scared to say goodbye.

Dan is in the midst of the same dilemma. He's done with undergraduate studies, yet he is through at Biola. As graduation is closing in, he's really parceling out his time wisely. These are people he may not see for a while, and time with them has flown by. In his words, graduating is bittersweet.

Well, I need to vaccuum and put stuff away before the parents get here.
Nothing like both sets of parents visiting to make an apartment get a lot cleaner!
Will post pictures of graduation soon :)

Swine

So, I was supposed to go to Mexico this coming Saturday. After hearing so much on the news about the "Swine Flu," I became a little weary. Dan flat out told me, "You're not going." Then, the CDC said it was fine to go to Mexico--just stay away from the sick people. Great. How were we supposed to run a medical clinic AND stay away from sick people? Several emails and frustrated phone calls from students and parents convinced the nursing program to cancel the Mexico trip. Thank goodness.
As of now, "nonessential" trips to Mexico are to be postponed if you listen to the CDC. 150 people dying of the same flu within a few weeks seems like adequate evidence to keep us away from the border. I really didn't want to bring that bug back to Biola or to my patients at the children's hospital (CHOC). Phew.

Speaking of patients, I have my first night shift at CHOC tonight...on the Peds Oncology unit. I'm thrilled! Though, I'm going to crash when I get home :)

Dan is finishing up his observation hours for teaching and trying to catch up on tutoring hours since kids keep canceling on him. Oh, and he's 3 weeks from graduating. Yay!

The semester is finally slowing down. I feel it. Oh, summer come quickly!

Unremarkable

The CT was essentially unremarkable. There were no remarks to be made about it. It was the same.

Basically, that means nothing new has grown in the past 4 months. Nothing is a good thing, in this case.

3 more months of unremarkableness means I won't check for remarkableness for another 6 months.

This is quite good. Though unremarkable.

Tremble

Tomorrow, I will feel a very familiar feeling. The feeling in which every nerve in my body twitches ever so slightly so that I am never sitting still. Shivers will cascade down my spine every few minutes. My breathing will quicken along with my heartbeat. My focus will scatter and disappear. Every click-clack of shoes walking by will pump more adrenaline into my blood stream. I will probably eat at least 3 pieces of gum in rapid succession.

The CT scan is done and probably even read by now. Someone knows whether or not we will rejoice or mourn. Someone knows whether or not the nervousness welling up in my soul is justified. If only that someone, a radiologist, knew he was so lucky.

As is usual, Dan is confident and calm. I am neither of those--not because I don't trust God to be faithful, but because my humanity doesn't deserve any more grace.

Of course, we never deserve grace, yet God gives it freely.

Tomorrow, we will know. Until then, I tremble.

8 Months

I'm still having a hard time believing it's really April...but I'm glad it is.
April means baseball season and Resurrection Day and Spring Break and home! As of today, April also means that Dan and I have been married 8 months. (No snickering from the 25 years+ crowd). Pretty exciting to us.

This semester has been a crazy one for sure, but one that leads us both closer and closer to graduation. Dan can actually say, "I'm graduating next month!" I can say, "I'll be a level 3 next month!" Oh, we cannot wait.

We have a lot going on before the cap and gown and celebration. Some good, some not so fun, but all necessary.
Tomorrow: we go home! First Lodi for Good Friday and Resurrection Day.
Monday: Santa Rosa for the rest of Spring Break...including a Red Sox game!
Tuesday: Stanford (CT)
Wednesday: Stanford (Meet with oncologist about CT and deciding when to replace his hip) (I'm nervous, Dan's not. Story of our life.)
Saturday: Back to our La Mirada home.

After break, Dan has teaching observation, papers, projects, etc. But luckily, no more PT. He's on a home regimen until he gets his new hip. By May 23rd...he's a Biola grad!

After break for me, Peds rotation, trying to convince the nursing department to let me do two oncology preceptorships, work, CNSA Treaurer (kind of like nursing school AS), and figuring out how to schedule this summer. By May 23rd...I'm a level 3!

So, as you can see, April means a lot of busyness and hopefulness. It means one month from "freedom."

Oy! If I want to go home tomorrow, I need to pack before work. Apparently, everybody and their brother decided to have surgery today and the floor is packed. It's going to be a busy night.

Good thing Dan is driving tomorrow...that means his passenger can just sleep her way to NorCal :)