I begged and pleaded with Dan to write this blog post, but he kept saying no or insisted on waiting until tomorrow to do it. So, naturally, I gave in, and you have to read my words again.
(He did, however, title this one. A checkpoint in a video game is where you reach a certain level in the game and are "safe" from losing all the work you have put it. Dan says that he feels like this is where we are in the "game".)
After working ourselves up to get bad news or ambiguous news again, we ended receiving rather good news from the oncologist. To sum it up, there was no evidence of new disease on the scan. There were some things that the doctor will need to keep monitoring.
The CT scan showed several things:
1. The liver abscess from last year FINALLY resolved.
2. No new lesions or malignant spots.
3. No more enlarged lymph nodes above the lungs.
4. No nodules in the lungs (this was a questionable finding from the last CT)
5. Possible colitis (infection of the colon)--Dan hasn't had any symptoms of this but we have to keep watching out to make sure nothing is going on in there.
6. Diverticulosis--no sesame seeds or popcorn for a while :(
7. Haziness around the old ablation site on the liver and around the pancreas (the radiologist called it "misty mesentery")--probably from the colitis, but not malignant
8. Mildly enlarged lymph nodes around the pancreas (same from last time)
9. Portal hypertension and an enlarged spleen--these things could be causing Dan's low blood counts but are not new findings
(I know we've never listed out findings before, but with medical people reading these updates, it's easier to just answer the questions before they're asked!)
The plan for now is to check in with another CT in 3 months. Dan's blood counts remain on the low side, but a touch better. If the low counts persist, there is a chance of a bone marrow biopsy in the future. The doctor doesn't think he'll need immune-booster (Leukine) shots on a frequent basis, but we'll have to be on the look out for signs of infection. Accordingly, if you are sick and feel like hanging out with Dan...please don't! We would love to see you, but will love it more when you're healthy.
So, now we enter another "wait and see" time. In the future, when the 3 month scans show that there is no growth or bad changes, the oncologist may be confident to allow Dan 6 months between scans. For now, though, we are just hoping for a peaceful and calm 3 months!
Thank you for the prayers. God hears every one of them. Dan continues to say that he feels like God isn't done with him. Personally, I hope the LORD wants to keep using Dan in the land of the living for many many many decades!
Loving each other while standing on the Rock!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Dayenu
It will make my Jewish-mama proud that this blog post has a Hebrew title. For the non-Hebrew people reading, the word "dayenu" is part of the Passover tradition that recalls all that Yahweh has done for His people. As the miracles are recounted, the tradition is to proclaim "dayenu!"--or "it would have been enough for us." For some reason this word has been very prevalent in my prayers today.
Today is a bit of a loaded day. My brother turns 22 years old. I am finishing up preparations for my work evaluation after 2 rather exhausting years of being an RN. We found out this morning at the doctor's office that this is another non-baby month. And, finally, we have an appointment with the oncologist to discuss results of more labs and Dan's most recent CT.
I am stressed and more ready to curl in a ball and watch Harry Potter all day than leave the house to go to another doctor appointment. Even Dan is tired of the day already!
However, in the spirit of "dayenu", I have to try to force myself to look at why our lives right now, as they are, would be blessings enough.
1. My brother was given 6 months to live at 12 years old. Thus, turning 22 is a BIG DEAL. Dayenu.
2. There were barely any jobs available when I graduated from nursing school. I have had a job in which I have gained much experience (good and bad) for 2 whole years. This job has provided us with excellent health insurance. I love the staff I work with--making bad days easier to manage. Dayenu.
3. We are able to afford fertility treatments and testing. The specialist is confident we can have kids. It is taking longer than we would like to get pregnant, but we have the ability to keep trying. Dayenu.
4. Dan has survived over 5 years since his terminal cancer diagnosis. He is able to walk and work and enjoy life. He was able to get married and make plans and be a walking testimony. Dayenu.
5. We are saved by the blood of the Lamb, washed clean of our sins and trusting in Jesus for our assured salvation. Dayenu.
I am struggling to proclaim my "dayenu" truths more than I cry out my fears. My gut-feeling and pessimistic nature are telling me we won't like the news we get this afternoon. My husband and his optimistic nature are telling me that we have no idea which way the news will go--and it could be good!
Regardless of what we think or feel, the reality is that God knows and is holding us firmly through the good and the bad. I think that calls for another "Dayenu!"
Today is a bit of a loaded day. My brother turns 22 years old. I am finishing up preparations for my work evaluation after 2 rather exhausting years of being an RN. We found out this morning at the doctor's office that this is another non-baby month. And, finally, we have an appointment with the oncologist to discuss results of more labs and Dan's most recent CT.
I am stressed and more ready to curl in a ball and watch Harry Potter all day than leave the house to go to another doctor appointment. Even Dan is tired of the day already!
However, in the spirit of "dayenu", I have to try to force myself to look at why our lives right now, as they are, would be blessings enough.
1. My brother was given 6 months to live at 12 years old. Thus, turning 22 is a BIG DEAL. Dayenu.
2. There were barely any jobs available when I graduated from nursing school. I have had a job in which I have gained much experience (good and bad) for 2 whole years. This job has provided us with excellent health insurance. I love the staff I work with--making bad days easier to manage. Dayenu.
3. We are able to afford fertility treatments and testing. The specialist is confident we can have kids. It is taking longer than we would like to get pregnant, but we have the ability to keep trying. Dayenu.
4. Dan has survived over 5 years since his terminal cancer diagnosis. He is able to walk and work and enjoy life. He was able to get married and make plans and be a walking testimony. Dayenu.
5. We are saved by the blood of the Lamb, washed clean of our sins and trusting in Jesus for our assured salvation. Dayenu.
I am struggling to proclaim my "dayenu" truths more than I cry out my fears. My gut-feeling and pessimistic nature are telling me we won't like the news we get this afternoon. My husband and his optimistic nature are telling me that we have no idea which way the news will go--and it could be good!
Regardless of what we think or feel, the reality is that God knows and is holding us firmly through the good and the bad. I think that calls for another "Dayenu!"
Friday, July 6, 2012
My least favorite part of surgeries.
What is my least favorite part? The paranoia that comes along the road to recovery. I use the term paranoia quite accurately--just ask Dan. My OCD kicks into high gear for a while after one of Dan's surgeries or procedures. This is good (looking out for symptoms, catching complications quickly, etc.) and bad (the constant feeling of wondering when the other shoe is going to drop, being an annoying nurse-wife, tears, sleepless nights, etc.) I really don't mean to become this person, but it nearly always happens. Dan says I'm getting better. After 5 years of this non-sense, I'd better be getting better!
All of this to say, my paranoia is proving a bit correct this time.
In the post-op period of his hip replacement we knew we were going to be worried about several things and that we would have to be constantly on guard for certain symptoms. These include:
1. Deep vein thrombosis: watching for swelling in a limb that is already swollen from surgery is a little difficult. Asking Dan if he has pain in his leg is also interesting. Even though his platelets are low, he is still at risk for a blood clot. Since his platelets are too low for a preventive blood thinners, we have to just hope that Dan's mobility and exercises will be enough.
2. Infection: monitoring fevers, watching for infectious changes at the incision site, increased pain, etc. Unfortunately for Dan, his white count (the infection fighting cells) are also lower than normal. This could be simply a reaction from the surgery, but that means that his body does not have a typical army to fight off germs. Even movie theaters and fresh fruits and veggies can be the difference between home and hospital. And no showers until the staples come out--gross.
3. Dislocation: no bending more than 90 degrees, no crossing legs and no turning his foot inward. These are the 'hip precautions' that now rule our home. Elevated seats and toilets, grabbers for picking things up, sleeping with a very large pillow between his legs...makes for an interesting house! (On a good note: the surgeon said he tried to dislocate Dan's new hip after surgery and could not.)
4. Bleeding: Dan has low platelets (the clotting cells). This puts him at higher risk for bleeding. We have to watch out for hematomas or other signs of bleeding. Also, he has some pretty incredible bruises to show for it.
Now that we're all on the same page about what we're worried about, let me be frank about what's going on. Dan went for 3 days without fevers, so we thought we were in the clear. He finished his last run of antibiotics today and he was feeling good. Tonight, he developed a low-grade temp again. Grr. If it hits 100.4 F, he gets another trip to the hospital. So, he's now wandering around the apartment with ice packs and tylenol coursing through his system. It better work!
Also, he had a follow-up with his oncologist (cancer doctor) yesterday because his blood counts were not rebounding as fast as we'd like. He's now on bleeding precautions, neutropenic precautions (strict infection prevention) and waiting for the doctor to get some medicine approved to boost his immune system. He'll have to go in for shots 3 times next week (if insurance says yes). He's a bit irritated about not having fresh fruits or veggies, too.
He says the pain is very tolerable. He's literally walking all over the place. Per the physical therapist's recommendation, he doesn't sit for longer than 30-40 minutes at a time. He even tried walking around the apartment without a walker or cane--he did great! PT is very impressed with his progress. Yay!
He'll see the surgeon for a post-op next week, hopefully have the staples removed and get a general feel for how his recovery is coming along.
Dan is as optimistic as he has ever been. He doesn't complain about much of anything. He's still happy that he got the surgery and feels that things will smooth out fine.
I am the one who worries for the both of us. (Yep, the Bible says not to worry. Working on it.) We have moments that feel so normal and stress-free. Then, he gets a fever or his incision starts to bleed or his leg swells more than it has been. He stays calm, I go into hyper-vigilant nurse mode. Sometimes, I just really miss being a wife to a great guy, instead of a live-in nurse to a cancer patient. Dan, for the record, says he misses just being a hot husband instead of being a home health patient. Just a moment of honesty.
This period is just stressful. We know it will pass, but yikes, it is NOT fun right now.
For those of you in the area, I will be going back to work next week and Dan will still not be able to drive anywhere. He is fairly independent at home, but in the case of an emergent need, it would be good to have someone around. Also, since his immune system is low and he's not supposed to be out and about much, this apartment is going to get lonely fast. So, we are really hoping that people would come on over to visit or bring some meals for him or something. Prayers are amazing and needed, but we need some material and physical help, too. If you're willing, let us know!
Alright, so prayer requests seem pretty obvious at this point:
1. No blood clots.
2. No infections.
3. No dislocations.
4. No bleeding.
5. No more trips to the hospital.
6. The perseverance to be just be husband and wife.
7. No more cancer.
All of this to say, my paranoia is proving a bit correct this time.
In the post-op period of his hip replacement we knew we were going to be worried about several things and that we would have to be constantly on guard for certain symptoms. These include:
1. Deep vein thrombosis: watching for swelling in a limb that is already swollen from surgery is a little difficult. Asking Dan if he has pain in his leg is also interesting. Even though his platelets are low, he is still at risk for a blood clot. Since his platelets are too low for a preventive blood thinners, we have to just hope that Dan's mobility and exercises will be enough.
2. Infection: monitoring fevers, watching for infectious changes at the incision site, increased pain, etc. Unfortunately for Dan, his white count (the infection fighting cells) are also lower than normal. This could be simply a reaction from the surgery, but that means that his body does not have a typical army to fight off germs. Even movie theaters and fresh fruits and veggies can be the difference between home and hospital. And no showers until the staples come out--gross.
3. Dislocation: no bending more than 90 degrees, no crossing legs and no turning his foot inward. These are the 'hip precautions' that now rule our home. Elevated seats and toilets, grabbers for picking things up, sleeping with a very large pillow between his legs...makes for an interesting house! (On a good note: the surgeon said he tried to dislocate Dan's new hip after surgery and could not.)
4. Bleeding: Dan has low platelets (the clotting cells). This puts him at higher risk for bleeding. We have to watch out for hematomas or other signs of bleeding. Also, he has some pretty incredible bruises to show for it.
Now that we're all on the same page about what we're worried about, let me be frank about what's going on. Dan went for 3 days without fevers, so we thought we were in the clear. He finished his last run of antibiotics today and he was feeling good. Tonight, he developed a low-grade temp again. Grr. If it hits 100.4 F, he gets another trip to the hospital. So, he's now wandering around the apartment with ice packs and tylenol coursing through his system. It better work!
Also, he had a follow-up with his oncologist (cancer doctor) yesterday because his blood counts were not rebounding as fast as we'd like. He's now on bleeding precautions, neutropenic precautions (strict infection prevention) and waiting for the doctor to get some medicine approved to boost his immune system. He'll have to go in for shots 3 times next week (if insurance says yes). He's a bit irritated about not having fresh fruits or veggies, too.
He says the pain is very tolerable. He's literally walking all over the place. Per the physical therapist's recommendation, he doesn't sit for longer than 30-40 minutes at a time. He even tried walking around the apartment without a walker or cane--he did great! PT is very impressed with his progress. Yay!
He'll see the surgeon for a post-op next week, hopefully have the staples removed and get a general feel for how his recovery is coming along.
Dan is as optimistic as he has ever been. He doesn't complain about much of anything. He's still happy that he got the surgery and feels that things will smooth out fine.
I am the one who worries for the both of us. (Yep, the Bible says not to worry. Working on it.) We have moments that feel so normal and stress-free. Then, he gets a fever or his incision starts to bleed or his leg swells more than it has been. He stays calm, I go into hyper-vigilant nurse mode. Sometimes, I just really miss being a wife to a great guy, instead of a live-in nurse to a cancer patient. Dan, for the record, says he misses just being a hot husband instead of being a home health patient. Just a moment of honesty.
This period is just stressful. We know it will pass, but yikes, it is NOT fun right now.
For those of you in the area, I will be going back to work next week and Dan will still not be able to drive anywhere. He is fairly independent at home, but in the case of an emergent need, it would be good to have someone around. Also, since his immune system is low and he's not supposed to be out and about much, this apartment is going to get lonely fast. So, we are really hoping that people would come on over to visit or bring some meals for him or something. Prayers are amazing and needed, but we need some material and physical help, too. If you're willing, let us know!
Alright, so prayer requests seem pretty obvious at this point:
1. No blood clots.
2. No infections.
3. No dislocations.
4. No bleeding.
5. No more trips to the hospital.
6. The perseverance to be just be husband and wife.
7. No more cancer.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Dan's got a brand new hip!
The day finally came for Dan's hip replacement on Thursday. Dan was super excited, enough to scrub himself with chlorhexidine and stick medicine up his nose for a week in preparation. We came into the hospital at about 0530 since he needed platelets (the clotting part of your blood) before going to the OR. A couple minor ordering snafus later, the orders finally got placed for the transfusion and the surgeon said, "run it fast!" Turns out that wasn't a fantastic plan as it resulted in a minor transfusion reaction. Thankfully, things got done in time and Dan was taken to the OR at 0910 with a fat lip and no worries.
(So, I realized that after 3 days in the hospital, I have only been updating people on Facebook. Oops. I'll recap the last few days by just copying over my status updates. Hey, work smarter not harder!)
6/28/12 1220:
Surgery is done and went well. He bled quite a bit more than the surgeon was expecting, but he has low platelets...so, not entirely unexpected. He will not be getting prophylactic blood thinners, that's for sure! The surgeon tried to test out the hip and said it's firm and hard to dislocate. Good! The doc said that Dan is awake and in recovery. He may even be up and walking around by this afternoon. We'll meet him up in his room in about an hour or so! Keep praying for no complications (blood clots, infection, etc.)!
Second PT and first OT (occupational therapy) done for the day. Both therapists said he is doing very well and better than they normally see. Dan feels good, only needs Vicodin for pain and is eating a lot. As a side note, his blood counts are a little low, but oncologist said we can hold off on transfusions for today. His immune system is a little battered and bruised from all the chemo, so it's taking a while to catch up. Prayers for no infections, no bleeding and no blood clots would be appreciated. Thanks for keeping Dan in your thoughts and prayers!
So, that's it for right now. Dan is attempting to let the Vicodin help him take a nap and take care of his temp. We're frustrated that every time he has surgery (he challenges me on this, but trust me, it's every time), he ends up with a fever and/or infection. His incision looks good per the surgeon, his catheter is out and he's walking a lot...hopefully, those things will chase away infection. However, it will also be very frustrating for Dan (and me) if he is completely cleared to go but his body can't figure out to stop having fevers just because it's angry at being beaten up.
Please pray that we are here the shortest amount of time that is safe for Dan. Also, that the MDs have wisdom regarding when a fever is just a fever and when it indicates something else. Prayers for energy for both of us would be good, too!
(So, I realized that after 3 days in the hospital, I have only been updating people on Facebook. Oops. I'll recap the last few days by just copying over my status updates. Hey, work smarter not harder!)
6/28/12 1220:
Surgery is done and went well. He bled quite a bit more than the surgeon was expecting, but he has low platelets...so, not entirely unexpected. He will not be getting prophylactic blood thinners, that's for sure! The surgeon tried to test out the hip and said it's firm and hard to dislocate. Good! The doc said that Dan is awake and in recovery. He may even be up and walking around by this afternoon. We'll meet him up in his room in about an hour or so! Keep praying for no complications (blood clots, infection, etc.)!
Second PT and first OT (occupational therapy) done for the day. Both therapists said he is doing very well and better than they normally see. Dan feels good, only needs Vicodin for pain and is eating a lot. As a side note, his blood counts are a little low, but oncologist said we can hold off on transfusions for today. His immune system is a little battered and bruised from all the chemo, so it's taking a while to catch up. Prayers for no infections, no bleeding and no blood clots would be appreciated. Thanks for keeping Dan in your thoughts and prayers!
Alright, so the fevers are still sticking around. Low but persistent and pesky. Labs have all been drawn, chest x-ray, etc. On-call surgeon said that it could just be post-op inflammation, but if that's the case, the fevers should be subsiding by today.
Dan is cleared by physical therapy to go home whenever the other docs give the go ahead. They say he's doing great! Walking a lot further than expected.
Blood counts still low (WBC 2.2, Hgb 8.6). Oncologist will hopefully order Dan a little blood to boost his energy and defenses...at least that's what I'm hoping. I'm sure his nurse will not be thrilled!
Case manager came in to start prepping for discharge, so when we do get everybody signing off we'll get outta here lickity-split!
Dan's favorite part of the day: wearing shorts and a t-shirt instead of his typical "evening gown".
Dan is cleared by physical therapy to go home whenever the other docs give the go ahead. They say he's doing great! Walking a lot further than expected.
Blood counts still low (WBC 2.2, Hgb 8.6). Oncologist will hopefully order Dan a little blood to boost his energy and defenses...at least that's what I'm hoping. I'm sure his nurse will not be thrilled!
Case manager came in to start prepping for discharge, so when we do get everybody signing off we'll get outta here lickity-split!
Dan's favorite part of the day: wearing shorts and a t-shirt instead of his typical "evening gown".
So, that's it for right now. Dan is attempting to let the Vicodin help him take a nap and take care of his temp. We're frustrated that every time he has surgery (he challenges me on this, but trust me, it's every time), he ends up with a fever and/or infection. His incision looks good per the surgeon, his catheter is out and he's walking a lot...hopefully, those things will chase away infection. However, it will also be very frustrating for Dan (and me) if he is completely cleared to go but his body can't figure out to stop having fevers just because it's angry at being beaten up.
Please pray that we are here the shortest amount of time that is safe for Dan. Also, that the MDs have wisdom regarding when a fever is just a fever and when it indicates something else. Prayers for energy for both of us would be good, too!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Love, Marriage and Babies (and a cat)
This just a quick update on life to let everyone know we're still alive and kicking.
You'll notice that cancer isn't mentioned in the title. This is simply because we have nothing new to share on that front. Dan had a couple weeks in which he wasn't feeling good, but it looks like that may have been related to a new medication that has since been stopped. Now, we just keep watching and waiting until the next CT in June.
In the "love" news, our best friends Lisa and Andrew recently got engaged with a wedding set for November in the Wine Country. Lisa and I have been friends since the 3rd grade, so it feels like my sister is getting married! We've also known Andrew since our freshman year at Biola, and he was in our wedding. My goodness, are we excited!
And, our friends Laura and Brian got engaged, too. They'll be getting hitched this summer. This will certainly be a memorable year!
In the "marriage" news, Dan's sister Jessica just became Jessica McBride. Jes and Josh got married this past weekend up in Lodi at a very unique and beautiful wedding. The entire event screamed "Jes and Josh" and they looked fantastically happy. They are headed off to Iceland for their honeymoon today. Now, Dan and I can start bothering them for a baby...well, we'll give them a few months ;)
Also, my family was invited to the wedding, so I was able to hug my parents and brother for the first time since December. It was also the first Mother's Day that all my mom's kids were in the same place with her for almost 5 years! It was very sweet and way too short. We'll be looking forward to another visit from my family in June for my dad's graduation with his BA from The King's College. So excited!
Finally, in the "babies" news, a lot of craziness has been happening. I'm taking far more meds than I'd like, but hopefully they will help us conceive anytime now. We had been working under the assumption that Dan's chemo treatments were to blame for our current infertility issues...but he is very close to normal! I, however, am the one to blame for things being so tricky :(
It turns out that I failed my glucose tolerance test because I have insulin intolerance. This is different than diabetes in that my body just makes a ton of insulin, but my cells won't use it properly so my blood sugar takes longer to normalize. This elevated insulin and glucose ratio throws off other hormones which has essentially kept me from ovulating for Lord knows how long. No ovulating means no babies. Because of this, the doctor started me on metformin to balance the ratios and bring my levels to normal. Also, I have had to change my diet around a lot. No white carbs, lots of fruits/veggies and protein, no caffeine...it's been "fun". Dan has been AMAZING about helping me stick to this diet because I get really sick if I don't. Many women begin to ovulate normally just with taking the metformin, but the doctor wanted to throw a couple more punches.
After some more investigation, the insulin resistance is part of a syndrome called PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) which is the most common reason in women my age for infertility. As one can probably guess from the name, I also end up getting pretty large and painful cysts on my ovaries. When the ovaries occur we have to put fertility treatment on hold for a month while a different medicine shrinks them. This has already happened once and is very frustrating.
(Yet, God knows what is happening in every cell of our bodies and knows the exact perfect timing of every need. Even if that means, we wait a long time for a baby or we never have one at all. As painful as that thought is, I trust that God has a perfect reason for His will and actions.)
My most recent cyst is gone (yay!) and I've added 3 new meds to my daily cocktail of drugs. The next few weeks (or months) will involve a lot of doctor appointments and waiting and ultrasounds and waiting and praying and hoping and waiting and praying some more. Dan and I are really praying that we are able to conceive with just medications helping us, so that we don't have to move to more invasive technologies. We would appreciate your prayers in this, too!
Oh, and the last bit of our update: a cat! We made the decision to get Toulouse a new friend to help him be less lonely and crazy. We are still holding out on whether or not this has actually worked, but it has been very entertaining. The new kitty is named Fleur de Lis (Dan's choice to keep with the "cats are French" notion in our home). She is 1.5 years old, very small, very spunky and very loud. She talks all the time. Poor Toulouse.
Prayer Requests:
* Keep the cancer away!
* Safe travels for Jes and Josh
* Good timing, successful meds and God's hand in helping us in the baby-making
* A quick recovery for Dan's hip surgery with NO COMPLICATIONS
* Remaining at peace in God's will :)
You'll notice that cancer isn't mentioned in the title. This is simply because we have nothing new to share on that front. Dan had a couple weeks in which he wasn't feeling good, but it looks like that may have been related to a new medication that has since been stopped. Now, we just keep watching and waiting until the next CT in June.
In the "love" news, our best friends Lisa and Andrew recently got engaged with a wedding set for November in the Wine Country. Lisa and I have been friends since the 3rd grade, so it feels like my sister is getting married! We've also known Andrew since our freshman year at Biola, and he was in our wedding. My goodness, are we excited!
And, our friends Laura and Brian got engaged, too. They'll be getting hitched this summer. This will certainly be a memorable year!
In the "marriage" news, Dan's sister Jessica just became Jessica McBride. Jes and Josh got married this past weekend up in Lodi at a very unique and beautiful wedding. The entire event screamed "Jes and Josh" and they looked fantastically happy. They are headed off to Iceland for their honeymoon today. Now, Dan and I can start bothering them for a baby...well, we'll give them a few months ;)
Also, my family was invited to the wedding, so I was able to hug my parents and brother for the first time since December. It was also the first Mother's Day that all my mom's kids were in the same place with her for almost 5 years! It was very sweet and way too short. We'll be looking forward to another visit from my family in June for my dad's graduation with his BA from The King's College. So excited!
Finally, in the "babies" news, a lot of craziness has been happening. I'm taking far more meds than I'd like, but hopefully they will help us conceive anytime now. We had been working under the assumption that Dan's chemo treatments were to blame for our current infertility issues...but he is very close to normal! I, however, am the one to blame for things being so tricky :(
It turns out that I failed my glucose tolerance test because I have insulin intolerance. This is different than diabetes in that my body just makes a ton of insulin, but my cells won't use it properly so my blood sugar takes longer to normalize. This elevated insulin and glucose ratio throws off other hormones which has essentially kept me from ovulating for Lord knows how long. No ovulating means no babies. Because of this, the doctor started me on metformin to balance the ratios and bring my levels to normal. Also, I have had to change my diet around a lot. No white carbs, lots of fruits/veggies and protein, no caffeine...it's been "fun". Dan has been AMAZING about helping me stick to this diet because I get really sick if I don't. Many women begin to ovulate normally just with taking the metformin, but the doctor wanted to throw a couple more punches.
After some more investigation, the insulin resistance is part of a syndrome called PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) which is the most common reason in women my age for infertility. As one can probably guess from the name, I also end up getting pretty large and painful cysts on my ovaries. When the ovaries occur we have to put fertility treatment on hold for a month while a different medicine shrinks them. This has already happened once and is very frustrating.
(Yet, God knows what is happening in every cell of our bodies and knows the exact perfect timing of every need. Even if that means, we wait a long time for a baby or we never have one at all. As painful as that thought is, I trust that God has a perfect reason for His will and actions.)
My most recent cyst is gone (yay!) and I've added 3 new meds to my daily cocktail of drugs. The next few weeks (or months) will involve a lot of doctor appointments and waiting and ultrasounds and waiting and praying and hoping and waiting and praying some more. Dan and I are really praying that we are able to conceive with just medications helping us, so that we don't have to move to more invasive technologies. We would appreciate your prayers in this, too!
Oh, and the last bit of our update: a cat! We made the decision to get Toulouse a new friend to help him be less lonely and crazy. We are still holding out on whether or not this has actually worked, but it has been very entertaining. The new kitty is named Fleur de Lis (Dan's choice to keep with the "cats are French" notion in our home). She is 1.5 years old, very small, very spunky and very loud. She talks all the time. Poor Toulouse.
Prayer Requests:
* Keep the cancer away!
* Safe travels for Jes and Josh
* Good timing, successful meds and God's hand in helping us in the baby-making
* A quick recovery for Dan's hip surgery with NO COMPLICATIONS
* Remaining at peace in God's will :)
Thursday, March 22, 2012
A real update!
We saw the oncologist yesterday to discuss the results of the PET scan. The doctor said that the results were fairly unimpressive and a little difficult to interpret (what a shocker). He said that he and the interventional radiologists at my hospital took a look at the scan and were surprised to not seeing anything "lighting up like a Christmas tree." There was nothing that looked scary or "screamed come get me." Also, they didn't even see the enlarged lymph nodes anymore.
There are still hazy, slightly brighter spots around the newest ablation site, above the liver and slightly above the diaphragm. The options for the spots remain: recurring tumor, infection, or scar tissue/post-ablation tissue.
We told him what the Stanford doc said after reading the CT (wait for 3 months, then check again), and he actually agreed. We'll be sending a copy of the PET to Stanford just to make sure this is the right plan. For now, there won't be any biopsying. Just "watching and waiting."
Dan also got the go ahead for his hip replacement surgery. The official date for that is June 28th. I better put in the paperwork to get work off now!
This has also been a busy week for me from the fertility testing standpoint. All of our labs and scary tests were finished today. Thank goodness. The glucose test was like drinking a whole bunch of concentrated snow cone syrup. I didn't think it was too bad until I got home and had a crazy sugar crash. Whoa. As for the other tests, don't ask. I'm sitting with a heating pad and a constant stream of Advil. "For ze babies!" So far, results are looking alright, though we won't know for sure until we meet with the doctor. That appointment hasn't been made yet.
Alright, I think we're going to try to get off the couch long enough to grab some dinner. Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes!
Praises:
- Dan's PET scan didn't look crazy or all lit up!
- Dan's hip replacement is scheduled
- All of the fertility tests are done (for now)
Prayer Requests:
- A good plan from the fertility doctor
- No more cancer!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
And it begins.
Cancer/CT/PET scan news:
Nada. The PET scan is still tomorrow, we won't know anything until next week most likely when we meet with the oncologist down here on Wednesday.
Baby news:
We met with the fertility specialist for the first time today. Whoa. Our heads are still spinning a bit from all of the information.
The doctor seemed kind and extremely intelligent with all kinds of awards and plaques covering a wall of his office. Even better, there was a whole wall full of babies he has helped bring into the world. He is very logical and realistic, though optimistic. He took our histories, asked a hefty amount of VERY PERSONAL questions, scribbled lots of notes and described to us the process of fertility treatments.
Dan asked me to use the same analogy the doctor used with us, so I'll try to paraphrase as well as I can: over the next few weeks, we will gathering all of our 'cards' (information, stats, etc.) through tests and monitoring. Once the 'deck' is ready, we'll meet with the 'expert card player' (the doctor) to help us play the best 'hand' with the 'cards' we've been given.
The doctor made it clear that he is not going to be making "something impossible possible, but something improbable probable." We liked that, especially Dan, who has recently taken to thinking like an economist. Math teachers.
As it stands with the information we have now, the doctor has given us fairly impressive odds of having children. Yay! Even with the chemo-induced low numbers, the doctor said that that alone would not prevent us from conceiving naturally. Which led to him thinking that maybe something is going on with me. (Or, he said we just have incredibly unlucky timing!)
Somehow, with all of the focus on Dan's cancer and treatments and the well-known probability that chemo reduces fertility, we never stopped to think that maybe I was contributing to this whole lack of baby issue. Well, Dan did, but he thought it wasn't likely. So, now that that door has been opened, we are a step closer to finding any possible problems and fixing them. Which also puts us a step closer to becoming parents!
The not-so-fun part of the appointment was going over The Plan. Lucky for Dan, most of his part of The Plan is done for now. Unlucky for me, I have a lot to do in the next couple weeks. We'll spare you the details, but if you find me to be a little moodier or grumpier than usual in the near future... sorry. X-rays, blood work, glucose testing, ultrasounds, scary needles going scary places, etc.
Dan keeps reminding me (in a faux French accent): "Iz for de bebe!"
Anyway, once all these tests are done, we meet with the doctor and decide upon the next steps of The Plan. This will include a cost-benefit analysis, too. I hope I don't fall over after hearing the final numbers!
We found out today that my insurance will cover 50% of all the diagnostic work which is FANTASTIC news. This is very rare. Thank you, LORD. That being said...the next 2 weeks alone will be around one of Dan's paychecks. God will provide.
We left feeling encouraged and more optimistic than we have felt for a long time. I'm not expecting a pregnancy to be right around the corner or anything, but I no longer feel that it is a never type of situation. This is a big blessing.
Praises:
1. Insurance coverage
2. Good timing with tests
3. Jamie made it back from Israel safely
4. We feel optimistic!
Prayer Requests:
1. Dan's PET scan tomorrow...let it show nothing lighting up or abnormal at all. With God it IS possible :)
2. Grace in scheduling all of my tests next week.
3. Clear results and wisdom for the fertility doc to help us make a plan.
4. Patience and peace as we wait.
5. NO MORE CANCER!
6. Success in starting a family.
7. Oh, and Dan has a cold that he'd really like to get over soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)