A eulogy

Before anyone becomes alarmed, this is a eulogy for my cat. She was a great cat; I would say the best cat. We did not find Penny. Penny found us.

One night about 12 years ago, after Monday night football, Nick and I found a small kitten on our front porch. Being only 10 and 7 years old, this was a fantastic find for us. Dad told us not to expect her to stay, but then he found her a box with a blanket, some tuna and a dish of warm milk. As you can guess, Penny stuck around. As time went by, we discovered that we had found a very interesting feline. She would follow Nick and I as we walked to elementary school and then walk back to Mom. She needed no training for a litter box, but meowed at the door when she needed out (most of the time). Best of all, she was loud and talkative. Somehow, we always knew what she wanted and how she felt. She had attitude.

Over the years, Penny was both an inside cat and outside cat depending on the status of the family allergies. When let inside, she could typically be found in Grandma Grace's rocking chair or any blanketed surface. She liked warmth, comfort and attention. Scratching was preferred right behind the ears, on the jaw or right before her tail.
When living as an outside cat, Penny was prone to getting in fights. She suffered several wounds, including one to her behind, her ears and her neck. Truth be told, you should have seen the other cats! One such skirmish landed Penny at the vet, needing surgery. Dad proclaimed that if the vet cost more than $400, we must say goodbye. The bill came to $399.99...God smiled on Penny that day.
Another of Penny's favorite activities was hunting. She delivered many presents to the doorstep, refusing to stop yelling at us until we complimented her expert hunting. After we encouraged her, she removed all the carnage but the liver and feathers. Lovely.

Sadly, all these stories and many more were laughed about today at the vet. Penny hadn't been breathing well for a couple days, and Dad decided it was about time to let the family vet look her over. About an hour after they left, Mom called for us to come say goodbye. Luckily, Dan and I were in town and we were able to be there. In a tiny room, we gave our last scratches and heard her last purrs. Seemingly knowing what was next, Penny yelled at us in typical fashion. Dad loved that cat and never stopped holding her, even as the vet put her to sleep for good. Mom even cried...I suppose she liked Penny more than she let on.

Penny now sleeps in a hole Dad and Nick dug for her by the fence she liked to escape under. We all hope that maybe animals do have a soul, so that Penny can annoy Jesus for a while. I think He would like our feisty little cat.

49ers win!

It was a good day for a football game.

Tailgaters, the 49ers faithful, were happy and partying.

Ashley was wearing my old 49ers jacket from when I was like 10.

I was wearing my Frank Gore jersey and my new leather 49ers jacket.

Daniel was wearing his authentic Alex Smith jersey (eww).

Mom was wearing my Daniel Howen customized jersey.

Dad was wearing a stylish hat.

My 49ers came up big against the Washington Redskins and finished the season strong, going from 2-7 to 7-9. It was my first pro football game since 95 (SF vs Panthers) and that was a preseason game, so technically my first pro football game. It was a good day.

After the Chargers disassembled the Broncos, my weekly football predictions reached the final record of 163-92-1 (63.9%), not too shabby. I should check the ESPN analysts and see how I did in comparison.

Jess, Matt, and Ryan made it to Seattle. Ashley made it to the shower and warmth. I think we're headed to Santa Rosa tomorrow for one last day before we come back to the apartment. I hope that a) there hasn't been any flooding and b) Biola's wonderful facilities crew has prevented any future flooding. It'll be good to see our school friends again and just chillax with each other until school starts again in about four weeks. Anyway, I'm done. 

Ashley wanted to add an addendum, so here it is:

I really had fun at the football game, but I was frustrated by the amount of showy-ness that was manufactured. I'm used to baseball games, in which the game itself is exciting. When those 9 players come out to the diamond, the fans cheer. Do football players really need a huge inflatable helmet and fireworks for people to be thrilled? Probably not. Still, it was entertaining...which, I'm told, is the point.

Also, I am not quite ready to return to Southern California. I miss trees and green and family while I'm in La Mirada. Hopefully, my husband will acquiesce to my persistence and let us stay in Santa Rosa until Tuesday or Wednesday. 

Finally, isn't it odd that Dan said he didn't like blogging (thought starting one was a silly idea even) but has blogged more than I in the past few days? 

(Side note: Dan took over for me in my Yahtzee game, asked my opinion of a play and completely ignored it. Lovely.)

Dan's addendum to Ashley's addendum: The times that we played Yahtzee, I won most of the time anyway- besides, my decision had no effect on the final outcome. Also, I think she uses too many colors. She was probably the kid who hogged all the crayons in kindergarten. 

Seven Pounds - Movie Review

It is like any kind of actual film - it takes a while to develop. But it's one of those movies that kinda grabs you by the ribs and doesn't let you leave. Great performance by Mr. Smith- it was a good movie experience.

It still never fails that whenever we go to Lodi Stadium 12, we see someone we know. It's basically past the theory stage and right onto physical law of the universe. My parents basically know the entire town.

Going to the 49ers game tomorrow. Stoked out of my mind. We're going to tailgate and everything. But then again, pretty much everyone who reads this blog already knows that.

Ashley says hello. She enjoys sitting by the fireplace. A little too close sometimes.

Takeover

Dan here, "the silent one" as it were-

NOT

So Ashley is still asleep and I am taking this opportunity to take over the blog profile she made for herself but also for me AND her. Basically now we're us instead of just her, but we've been us since August so--- go think about that one.

Christmas was great (although now that it's over, Ashley will likely need some cheering up- but I can handle that). Lots of 49ers stuff for me, lots of girly stuff for Ashley, and technically four different Christmastimes with both families. Someone needs to invent a better way to share time with two families who both want to spend time with you. Maybe things will be easier over time, since this our first married Christmas. I hope so.

Man, this color accent really adds so much emotion to what I'm saying. I'd love to hear your thoughts on color accents in blogs.

It couldn't have gone either way...

Why? Because God already knew what the CT was going to show and what the doctor was going to say to us today. Let me begin with yesterday...

We left Rosa really early and made it to Stanford early. Which obviously meant we could take a nap. After our half-hour siesta, we made it into the CT office. When they called "Daniel", Dan popped up and went with the nurse. Unfortunately, she had meant a different Daniel. Another nurse came out and asked for a "Daniel Howen". Oops. I told her he had already been taken back. This led to an older Daniel angrily yelling at the receptionist and the "little girl" (me) who lied to the nurse. Eventually, he realized that she had called a different Daniel and the other nurse finally listened to Dan as he informed her that he wasn't getting a chest x-ray. Oy. Anyway, the CT was done quickly and the team got him into his PET scan early. After 17 hours of not eating, Dan took me on a breakfast date before we settled at the Sizelove house for a 3 hour nap!

Before the good news, I have to thank the Sizeloves for all their hospitality and warmth. No matter the season or the time we arrive at their door, they let us sleep in their guest room, use their hot water and play with their children. We are so very thankful to have met them and been welcomed into their family.

Alright, on to the great part. Dan and I got to Stanford on time, got his labs, met his mom in the waiting room and then settled in for a long wait. Thankfully, the wait proved short and we were ushered into a little room. Just being honest, I was shaking like a leaf...my pulse was nearly 140! (Yes, I realize I need to cut down on the caffeine and the stress.) Dan and Jamie talked about football and did a crossword. The time crawled a bit, with every click-clack of a pair of heels in the hall making us all glance toward the door. Finally, Dr. Cho opened the door and popped her head in. "Dan, did you get a PET Scan? I can't find it! Oh, good news on the CT scan. I'll come back." Now, we are all excited.

About ten minutes later, the doctor came back with the results of both scans. She was very cheerful, asking about life and smiling and showing off her kids (keep in mind, this isn't normal). Eventually, she noticed our hungry gazes and told us the good news. The CT showed shrinkage of EVERYTHING (cancer-related, Dan feels I must clarify here). The liver tumors were noticeably smaller with only two being big enough to measure. Even the pancreas tumor got smaller...without any human interaction. On the PET scan (used to measure the metabolic activity of cells...tumors are very metabolic), nothing lit up! When we asked about the next step at this point, Dr. Cho said she was hesitant to do anything because she wasn't even sure the pancreas mass was active cancer anymore. It could just be a scar or a dead tumor shrinking away. Whoa! The doctor was just beside herself. It's easy to see why. Anyone looking at Dan and his scans a year and a half ago would have been willing to do away with all hope.

Thankfully, for us, we do have hope.

I can't imagine a better reason to celebrate this Christmas season. There is no better gift that I can look for under the tree. My heart is light today and my smile continual. My husband was right again. Even better...he is alive and well. How great is our God? He is the Healer in this situation...well, in all situations.

Thank you for all your prayers. God leaned down and listened.

Headed to Stanford

So, we made it home after watching Hayden and Melissa become the Butlers. The wedding was beautiful, with Dan most impressed by the vocabulary in the vows. Leave it to English Lit majors to use the words ontological or fierce to describe their love.
The drive home from San Luis Obispo was beautiful. The beaches and coastal scenery is much better than the 5! Though, it took a while longer than usual, so it was nice to make it to Santa Rosa and crawl into bed.
Today, we slept in (yay!) and watched the 49ers win their game and just lounged. Later, we celebrated with the church family at our annual Christmas potluck. Lots of food and a white elephant exchange gave way to Christmas carols and worship. Our church is small enough that everyone is family. Such a wonderful blessing it is to finally see them all again.
I should finish this quickly seeing as Dan and I have a very early morning ahead of us. Departure is set for 5:15-5:30am to reach Stanford Hospital. Tomorrow, Dan has a CT and a PET scan to evaluate his progress. Then, we have to wait until Tuesday to get word of the results. An acidy stomach is most likely on its way. Yet, we'll be staying with beloved friends who have adorable children. That should be sufficient to keep me distracted at least!
Please be in prayer that the news is encouraging. Since the last 3 months have been "wait and see" months, we are hoping to see no dramatic changes...at least bad dramatic changes. The liver was hammered with radiation back in June, so we're hoping to see some very dead tumors--or non-existent tumors. As for the pancreas, we're hoping for a very tiny and non-growing tumor. Pray for the doctors to see what they need to see and to have wisdom to recommend the next steps. Again, it would be wonderful to avoid more chemo (hair for graduation would be great, don't you think?), but that is only possible if the tumor growth has been minimal or none.
Pray for peace and encouragement and hope. Let this season be one of rejoicing in God's further healing in Dan's body. May the news on Tuesday leave us just plain old exuberant.
I'm nervous. Dan is not. Help us to hold firm to the Rock.

God is good. All the time.

A quick note from Dan

See, I blog too!
As we speak, we're packing up the house to leave for Christmas at the folks' places. It is a sad day for Ashley because Christmas is coming down (well most of it) before Christmas even happens! Well, to be fair, Christmas started early (in August or September or whatever), now look what's happening to it.
I move for a nationwide ban of Christmas before Thanksgiving. It's just not right.
Anyway, this is more rant than I intended; I need to get back to packing!
And on a happier note, we get to drive the coastline 101 today on the way to a wedding. Sweetness oh yes.
Kbye.

We...are...done!

Actually, Dan is finishing his last final of the semester as I write, though by the time you're reading this we will positively gleeful. No more homework or quizzes or papers or tests or classes. Just a little work and Christmas and lots of rest. I'm not sure either of us have so looked forward to a break!

The last few days have been pretty busy ones. To begin with...it rained! Hard. In souther California that is truly unheard of. I love rain, though I have discovered that it really isn't that enjoyable when the rain creates a lake on your patio an then begins to flow through the front door. After Dan left for work on Monday morning, I wandered out to see what he meant by: "When you wake up, there's a little water by the door." Expecting "a little water" I was unhappily suprised to see a kiddie pool in my living room, especially right next to the Christmas tree (as that was my top priority). The construction and facilities team now know me by name seeing as they have visited the apartment so many times this week. We still have a bit of a leak issue, but they have promised to have it fixed before we leave for Christmas up north. I hope so.
Speaking of Christmas, I finally found time to go shopping today. Having two families to shop for is taking a bit longer than expected, so Dan is getting dragged away from Madden tomorrow to help me out. He's thrilled, I'm sure.

Oh, some of you have asked about our schedule for the holidays...

Saturday: drive to SLO to a wedding (Melissa and Hayden are finally tying the knot), as long as his hip cooperates. Stupid avascular necrosis (vocab word of the day-look it up). His hip has felt better the last couple of weeks.

Sunday: Arrive very early in Santa Rosa and spend the day with the Cliffords :)

Monday: Drive very early to Stanford for a CT and PET Scan. Hang out with the Sizeloves.

Tuesday: Meet with Dr. Cho and get results back from the CT. (Before moving on, I am really nervous about this appointment. It has been 3 and a half months since the last scan and as Dan says, "it could go either way." I hate this feeling of uncertainty and fear--the product of not trusting God all the time. He has been so faithful in bringing healing and health to Dan's body; may we pray that this continues. Dan is much less nervous than I (like always), though there is some uncertainty still. The best Christmas present I can ask for is encouraging and wonderful news from the doctor...and no need for chemo! Please pray for us, and Dan's healing in particular). Next, we'll meet with the orthopedist about Dan's hip, and then Dan gets some bisphosphonate goodness (an experimental treatment for his dead femur head) before we drive back to Rosa...rejoicing, hopefully.

Wednesday: Christmas Eve with the Cliffords, Carters and Kees. Yay!

Thursday: Christmas morning at my house, drive to Lodi for Christmas dinner with the Howens.

Friday: Hanging in Lodi.

Saturday: Dan has something up his sleeve, but he won't tell me what it is.

Sunday: A 49er's game.

After the game, we're not quite sure when we're heading home. I just need to be back to work for New Year's Day. Dan and I are truly excited to see family and friends soon and to celebrate the birth of Christ with them. After worrying about school all semester, I've found time to worry about the "C word" again. I suppose God is still going to have to work on this whole
trusting Him in all things idea.

God is good. Always.

Marriage without homework

I don't actually know what marriage without homework is like...we got married, went to Hawaii, came home and moved into our Biola apartment. It was a whirlwind.
With Dan being a senior at Biola, he had lots of projects and internship hours to finish before finally earning his film degree. With me being a nursing major, well, I just had a lot of nursing school. In addition to school, we thought we should be be responsible married people and actually work :) So, I've been a CNA (certified nurses assistant) in a local hospital for about 3 and a half months. It's a messy job, but I really do love the people and the nurses who take me under the wing to teach me as I get closer to my RN. Dan, in another act of God's grace, found an internship with the NFL...with pay! Having two paychecks allows us to squeak by, but thankfully we're getting some help with all those other bills that come in the mail: CTs, MRIs, blood work, Stanford appts, x-rays, meds, etc. God has truly blessed us with supportive families.
As much as we both love all we have going on in this segment of our lives, Dan and I have felt the weight of busyness. We both joke that if we weren't married yet, we'd never see each other! Though we're able to spend some time with one another, it's remarkable how little time we have for everyone else. Four months have gone by since we got married, and our communication skills have diminished under the load of work and homework and school and marriage.
For this reason, much to the chagrin of my non-blog-loving husband, I've decided to start up a blog. Now, don't expect a post everyday, but at least this will help our family and friends to know what's going on in our lives. It'll mostly be me writing, as Dan truly dislikes this task, though I might convince him every now and then to give a piece of his mind.
I don't have everyone's email, but I know that if I let both of our mothers know that this exists, half of the country will know about it within the week.
So, hold on tight and check in on us every now again. We live a crazy life.